One of the first things they teach you at lifeguard school is to only jump into the water as a last resort. This is for a simple reason - a drowning person can pull you under.
And so it is for leaders.
When someone is upset and comes to us for help, it's easy for us to get drawn into the emotion of the situation. But when we do, we have far fewer resources available to us. In turn, this might make the situation worse.
When we stay on the side of the pool - in a calm state - we are much better equipped to help, not least because we can access our own wisdom that lets us know what to do in real-time.
Lifeguards have a saying: "Reach or throw, don't go." This means try everything else before getting in the water. Throw a life ring. Extend a pole. Use the tools at your disposal.
As leaders, we have similar tools. A calm conversation. A framework for solving problems. A process to follow. These are our life rings and rescue poles.
But what happens when someone is really struggling? When the situation feels urgent?
This is exactly when we need to remember our training. The more critical the situation, the more important it is to stay grounded. To keep our head above water.
Think about it - have you ever tried to help someone when you're just as panicked as they are? It rarely works.
Instead, take a breath. Assess the situation. What resources do you have available? Who else can help? What's the actual risk level here?
Just like a lifeguard scanning the water from their chair, you'll see more clearly from a position of stability.
Sometimes the hardest part is watching someone struggle. We want to jump in immediately. Fix everything right away. And let's be honest - we've all watched enough Baywatch to think we'd look heroic doing it. (Spoiler alert: Most of us don't look like David Hasselhoff in slow motion, and that's probably for the best.)
When someone's thrashing about in emotional waters, splashing and creating waves, our instinct is to dive right in. But just like a panicking swimmer, a team member in crisis can pull us into their turbulent state if we're not careful.
Like any good lifeguard, we need to know our limits. When to call for backup. When to bring in additional support. There's no shame in this - it's what professionals do. No one expects you to single-handedly save the day while your red shorts flap majestically in the breeze.
After all: You can't help anyone if you're treading water yourself.
So the next time someone comes to you in crisis, remember: You don't need to jump in. In fact, it'll be better if you don't. You just need to be the stable presence they can hold onto while they find their way back to shore. No slow-motion running required.
The best engineering leaders, like the best lifeguards, know that staying on solid ground isn't just safer for the person they're helping - it keeps them in their Natural state, where wisdom and clarity can actually make a difference.
Their greatest power comes not from diving in, but from their capacity to stay steady when others can't.
