Ever had one of those red-mist moments? The ones where you can't think straight because you're so angry?

If so, it was probably because one or more of your core values were compromised.

Values - for example 'autonomy', 'trust', 'family' - tend to drive our behaviour.

Everyone has different core values and they often have different priorities.

Ideally you would be able to live all your values, all the time. Or at least not have them compromised. Because if a value is compromised, you will experience a very strong reaction.

So next time you're angry, ask yourself which value has been compromised.

You can then communicate this with others by saying 'I value X and when you just did Y you compromised it for me. Is there any way you can do Y in the future in a way that won't have this impact on me?'. It can be a very neutral conversation, and invites collaboration to find a joint solution.

The automatic alternative is to shout at them or run away and seethe. And that rarely goes well.